It’s not obvious to us Dads sometimes, because our thoughts are dominated by a western hemispheric “machismo” world view.
This in fact includes amongst others, is being out of touch with one’s feelings, or even being scared to show feelings, even not knowing HOW to feel.
Men give disproportionate attention to thier lusts, egos, gadgets, ability to destroy, earn money and a host of other distractions from being a nurturing human being.
Most of the dads I know including myself did not plan to have a child, it just happened. Some of us Manned up and readjusted our thinking and habits for the Fatherhood task at hand.
I was fortunate enough to have my Father in the picture until, age 17, when he bounced in shame at the time that my mom was the primary breadwinner of the house. Yes he was there for the most part
and I am greatful for the contribution he gave to the creation of Protius Indigenous, BUT…… he was not emotionally present for a greater part of the 17 years he lived at home with me. Sound familiar?
This manifests today in the form of me in a mild struggle with free flowing, self taught, nurturing of my daughter Faith. Though my nurturing shines through, I feel it is impeded by the lack of this example as a child.
This is echoed by many dads I encounter in a group I attend called D-UP! (Dads United for Parenting). With groups like this one, Fathers have an opportunity to examine self, i.e., self love,and self care, within the context of devolping attitudes and skills for male nurturance.
Some may not see the importance of this, but the associated detriments include what we see today in a male run,
self destructive pop culture, bent on promoting unloving, morbid realites for future generations to be influnced under?
Nuturing is not presented as in ‘vogue” at the moment and society pays in not so subtle ways.
If you live in the NYC area and you have been having a burning urge to check your fathering style and make some improvements, I highly recommend D-UP (Dads United for Parenting).
There you will find men ready to sharpen men into the finest dads society has to offer. Don’t expect to come here and have a pity party and call your baby moms a bitch all day, it’s about men doing self examination to identify the root of the fathering style, positive and negative patterns, and solutions to baby mama drama.
D-UP is located at:
314 W. 54th st
Ny.NY 10019
646-264-1344
or
646-264-1338
From time to time visit us as we examine this subject that needs a louder voice than just an article on a blog…
